Life After Beau

These are just a few things I've written. In this emotionally chaotic time, it helps to organize my thoughts.
Thank you for sharing this life with me.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Six Months.

My Dearest Beau,
It's been six months since I saw your beautiful, perfect face. It's been six long, painful months that your daddy and I have been coping with the loss of you. I've cried rivers of tears and I thought I would actually die of a broken heart.
But I know now, that no matter how many tears fall, and how much I wish (I have wished enough for the whole world!) it will not bring you back.
I would have traded everything, my whole life, everything I knew, for just five minutes with you. But we don't get that choice, do we little Beau?
Just recently I have noticed the hard edges of my jagged, torn-apart life have started to soften. And I have started to learn how to cope with this pain, with this loss of you. And I know now, that I must go on. If it means that I can keep loving you, I can go on.
I don't know why you had to leave us so soon, and I don't know why it had to be you. But, I do know for absolute certain, one thing: my love for you is greater than my pain. And my love for you grows every day.
I love you, my Beau. More than the sun shines, mommy loves you.


  1. Such touching and true words Minnow!

    Going forward in life definitely does 'not' mean leaving Beau behind. He will be a part of your life, Sam's life and your entire family member’s lives always.

    Beau's life will, without a doubt, continue to touch and make a difference to so many people in this world. I know he has mine…such a huge gift from such a precious little sweet pea (thank you Beau!)

    As you are finding, the love for Beau continues to grow within you...and forever more it will. There is nothing more beautiful than that!

    "I've learned that Love (not time) heals all wounds"...and I think you have found this out too.

    Beau sure knew what he was doing when he picked such beautiful parents as you and Sam.

    Love Lori

  2. Such beautiful, touching, moving writing...
    These tragic events always seem so senseless, so shocking and numbing. Why? Why?!
    Your love for Beau will continue to grow, and he will always be your firstborn. You may never understand why things had to happen the way they did, but with time you may learn to accept them more as they are. Nothing will ever replace your deep love and yearning for Beau. Nor should it.
    I have gotten very wrapped up in your blog. Keep up the great, authentic, heartfelt writing. You have a gift. Thank you for sharing all of this with others.